the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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