Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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