imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
