This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
barbara walters just said penis...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
We just shotgunned beers for America
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
