I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
