She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
