She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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