You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he laminated a picture of his dick.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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