the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
