It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
