its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
