dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's never too late to be topless.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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