what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I will be naked everywhere
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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