Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
