dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
