do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
