I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I will be naked everywhere
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
