sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
