I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
