i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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