She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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