guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
