I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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