i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
