I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
