gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
