I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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