I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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