Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
