My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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