I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
