Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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