I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
