what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
