We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
