my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize