Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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