Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
