can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
