I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
