Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
