Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize