So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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