she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
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