im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
