how can u be prego again
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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