She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
