So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
