Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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