and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
