I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
