You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
is that a dick in a sweater?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
