Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
