i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
