So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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