I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
