sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
