if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
