If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize