It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
