I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
