She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize