How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
