The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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