eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
