it's too hot outside to masturbate.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
