Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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