Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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